September 8, 2017-post written July 2016!

I’m writing this in September 2017. As I went back to catch up on my blog, starting with November 2015 and ending with August 2017, I suddenly realized too late I had gotten my “styles” backwards! Previously picture albums included a detail of dates I was with Lyla and Willow. But the blog included more thoughts and feelings rather than specific dates. However it was only AFTER I completed almost two years of blog postings and submitted them to be published in a book I realized I had transposed my thoughts with detailed dates! There are too many dates and repetitive details included in my blogs! However it was too late to change so I’m going to try to include some “thoughts” in my picture albums. My last picture album ended right before Willow was born so I have had a LOT of thoughts and feelings and MANY pictures since then!

Thoughts written July 2016: When I first started a blog, I called it “My Time with Lyla”. Time is an interesting concept. Everyone has the same number of hours in each day. It is one thing that truly is given equally to everyone…in a way. Of course there are people who die prematurely or have to spend an excess amount of time working or commuting or being sick or are involuntarily separated from loved ones, etc. When your mother was growing up money was in short supply in our family and I spent a lot of time working multiple jobs and earning a PhD in nursing. I spent a lot of time away from her. And she spent a lot of time in daycare and afterschool care. She has memories of being the last child picked up at daycare. And even remembers teachers telling her that could go home earlier if I arrived before the deadline of 6:00 pm. As I look back I regret it however I’m not sure what I could have done differently. Fortunately since I started work at University Hospital in 1990 and married Wayne in 1993 I have had a little more time and money and hopefully I've made it up a little bit by sharing both with your Mother. As I look at her I’m proud she is such an amazing person; a wife, mother, nurse and daughter--despite all of the many mistakes I made. I have been given such a priceless gift to be able to retire early and have time to spend with Lyla and Willow. As I’m writing this it’s a day I have no specific responsibilities; I’m not helping with you two and I’m not in Mobile with my Mother and there are no major chores pending. What do I do with this gift of time? It makes me a little restless. I don’t want to waste it because time is precious. Maybe I should exercise or clean house or watch the Democratic convention or catch up on the shows which are recorded or on Netflix or visit with friends, etc. I have not yet gotten used to having so much “free time”. Even though I’ve been completely retired since October 1, 2015, since Willow was born soon after, and because your Dad is off work in the summer and  your mother is working part-time, this is the first time I haven’t spent big blocks of time with you or my mother. It’s not the end of July yet so I’m not officially working on my July blog. So right now I think I’m going to go on a walk. And look forward to tomorrow when I’ll be with Lyla and Willow again. --posted Sept 8, 2017